Crestfallen

“I’m tired of my heart being broken, I’m tired of these tears falling down my face
I’m tired of this love being taked for granted, Won’t you go away? – Heartbroken, Aaliyah”

When I was growing up, I never thought saying I love you was a big deal. For me, It was only a phrase. It was a phrase most people use to tell. So when I said I love you to a random person, he just looked at me as if I was insane. I began to wonder why he look at me like that. I didn’t do anything wrong, I just told him that I love him.

Since curiosity got the best of me, I decided to Google up the three said words. It said there,

“We often say the words, “I love you” without really feeling the meaning of them.  Yeah we know the words mean, ”You matter to me… I care about what happens to you…. I think you’re pretty cool.”  But there is so much more to it then that.  When we are first falling in love, we think about the ideas of what that means.  We analyze the relationship and each other.  We really look at what is developing and we evaluate whether or not it is safe to say those three little words.”

If you want to see the whole article, look at it here.

But even after I read the article, I still didn’t got it. When some boys started saying ‘em, I asked them why they love their girls. They immediately said beautiful, smart, and all those similar adjectives. It was a simple answer, but they still didn’t answer the question why. It was really confusing.

Two years ago, specifically August 6, 2007, I finally got the meaning. There were no words to explain why someone loves his or her specific someone. But at summer ’08, I was left crestfallen.

Now, I still haven’t moved on from the pain. Love again was one of my options to heal it, but I didn’t consider it. I guess, time’s just really the answer to that.